CONVERSATIONS: Stretchmarks

Why do my stretchmarks have to be beautiful? Why can't they just be stretchmarks and not have any bearing on my overall 'worthiness'?

There's a huge difference between loving every single thing about your partner and personally feeling the need to 'beautify' one's so-called flaws.

My husband loves everything about me, including my stretchmarks, though I doubt he gives them much thought. And I appreciate it so very much, as I'm sure every well-loved partner does. And it's a loving, wonderful, this-is-the-right-person thing that I wish everyone had.

But I think, for me, the point of the meme is that we, as women, tend to feel that the only way we can acknowledge or empower our flaws is to prettify them. 

Which begs the question: Why do we see stretchmarks as flaws in the first place? Why can't we instead acknowledge that stretchmarks are normal and happen for so many reasons? Why can't we normalize the idea that a person's body is a map of its experiences and still worthy of love?

Why does everything have to be 'pretty' to be acceptable?

*sigh* I don't think I'm explaining this right. I'm talking about the skin-deep issues that go along with evolving our worldview as women. (Honestly, people in general.)

TLDR: When we continue to insist that everything about ourselves be 'pretty' to be acceptable, we perpetrate the objectification of our bodies in relation to their worth.

This is different than being able to accept compliments about things we consider flaws from people who love us.  


I could've written this meme, and I take compliments just fine. I'm also a huge advocate of 'lift up'. But I think often what is missed is the POV of personal observation vs received compliment.

Why does society insist that I take something that occurs naturally and make it pretty? Why can't stretchmarks -- many that happened prior to baby creation, so no strength involved, unless you count the arm curl to get food into my mouth -- just be stretchmarks? Why do we have to even acknowledge them as anything other than what they are?

This isn't about me not liking my stretchmarks -- I have a pretty cool set of them that make a rainbow over my buttcrack -- but rolling my eyes at the idea that they have to be 'beautiful' to be accepted.

I don't know any better way to explain this. I'm going to stop trying.
 

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